Leadership Part 2: The Power of the Mentor

Hey Ladies,

           

            The week’s post is part 2 of a multi part post about women in leadership. I cannot speak about constructive leadership without talking about the importance of having a mentor, teacher, trainer, coach, etc. These days anyone can claim the title of leader but stepping up to that role demands more than just accolades. Leading is tough. It can test your strength, make you doubt your talent at times, wear you down, and even scare the shit out of you. Most people who are drawn to leading for the power and prestige rarely make good leaders. The bottom line is, the best leaders are taught by even better mentors. I mentioned last week that I had a number of stories to share with you about my experiences with leadership, and this week’s post are about two people who have impacted me most when leading.   

My greatest lessons of leadership came with my first mentor, Diane Fargo. The skills I developed under Diane changed the course of my career and transformed what I expected from myself, and future leaders. Diane is old school Brooklyn. She is a highly respected scenic artist and one of the best Scenic Charge’s in the country. What makes Diane so unique is her combination of a take no shit attitude with a deep passion for teaching and sharing information. She really possesses a rarely found combination of devotion, discipline and skill. But, for the first year of my apprenticeship, Diane was my worst nightmare.

I apprenticed under Diane straight out of undergrad, where I had fucked around for 5 ½ years mostly focusing on theatre and smoking weed. To say my work ethic needed improvement would be a massive understatement. I skipped core classes to sit in on other theatre classes. I applied myself to projects I enjoyed, such as set painting but was almost completely absent for other subjects. Thanks to a professor who saw potential in me, I secured an apprenticeship under Diane and I began my training as a scenic artist.

Diane’s reputation was tough. She was known for yelling and swearing (I’ll admit my sailor mouth was honed under Diane). She expected a lot of the crew she hired, and she never took any shit. Diane also knew her shit and commanded a lot of respect from the other crew heads, who were mostly all men. My first boss was a fierce, independent woman who set the bar very high. Another amazing thing I wouldn’t immediately appreciate, was she that hired mostly women. It wouldn’t occur to me until years later, just what an amazing opportunity I was given and the lessons I was about to learn. I was a young kid with a large sense of entitlement and a poor work ethic. I was very out of my league.

When I began working, I just assumed I’d be painting immediately; it never occurred to me that there would be other options. As an undergrad I had been painting on the majority of the shows, and in my entitled mind what was left to learn? How could I not just be handed a paintbrush? It became very clear, very quickly that this would not be the case. I was tasked with cleaning buckets, washing brushes, cleaning out the paint trap, getting rid of old paint, laying out the drops, repapering the floors… and so on. On a good day I was given the task of mixing paint or if I was really lucky I got to assist one of the more senior painters by base coating hard scenery. Overtime and with a lot of hard love from Diane, I slowly began to develop a work ethic.

There were plenty of days when I fucked up, made mistakes, created a mess when I should have been cleaning one up… And Diane was tough on me. Diane NEEDED to be tough on me. I remember one day after I hadn’t done whatever was being asked of me Diane came up to me, “Ok, right now, I’m going to be very hard on you…” She then proceeded to tell me exactly how I had missed the mark, why I needed to do better and how much more she expected of me. I spent a lot of nights going home in tears, but here’s the thing about that… Overtime, I got better.

Slowly I was allowed to paint. I learned to how to starch a drop properly. I learned how to use a Hudson sprayer and lay down an even spray. And each time I fucked up, Diane held me accountable. After three years, I was able to join the other painters on the full drops. I remember how scared I was the first time I was allowed to paint along side Diane but I was also really excited by the opportunity. I was learning what it was to earn a privilege, and that experience was incredibly powerful and humbling.

On the days I worked next to Diane, she would really take the time to teach me proper techniques. I remember one day she had me working on three different surfaces, painting stone, marble and another material. Just when I would get comfortable in one style she’d move me to the next. It was a frustrating experience and I struggled to adopt to the new surface every time she switched me over. The lesson was about developing flexibility under changing circumstances and at the time I sucked at it. With each rotation she’d stop me.

“OK, now STOP!” She yelled. “Don’t just start painting. Look around and SEE the surface you’re about to paint. THINK about how this surface acts. THEN start painting.”

The lesson of thinking before acting has saved my ass more times than I can count. The lesson of staying flexible to changing circumstances has also been a life saver to me when leading. Diane took a lot care with the apprentices she mentored, she still does. It was my first experience with a truly strong leader, and it just so happened that that leader was a woman. I learned that a strong leader was prepared to kick a little ass when needed. I learned that a smart leader used every opportunity to educate and improve. I learned that a good leader never stopped caring about her crew, even when she was yelling at them. And I learned that a good leader earned respect when she worked hard and walked the talk. I was too young at the to fully appreciate all I was learning at the time but these lessons have never left me. As I’ve been called on to lead over the years, I’ve channeled Diane Fargo more than any other mentor I’ve had. She was my original introduction to a kick ass woman.

After my apprenticeship, I finally summoned the courage to pursue my most intimidating goal, becoming a puppeteer. I was accepted to the University of Connecticut and began studying the art of puppetry. The training Diane gave me was incredibly valuable for graduate school. I was able to handle critiques, and high demands. I was capable of surviving the grueling workload and project challenges. However, there were still lessons to be learned and the biggest one involved teamwork.

The year Eric Bass, of Sandglass Theater, was brought in as a guest artist my perspective on puppetry changed. I had been struggling to really feel like a puppeteer, it just hadn’t clicked with me yet and I was worried I might never be a puppeteer. The style Eric taught was tabletop puppetry, it’s the style I use in my own workshops. When working with a full body puppet in this style, it typically requires three puppeteers (A head puppeteer, an arm puppeteer and a foot puppeteer). The minute I was introduced to this style my whole world changed. The style demands that the puppeteers involved be a team in order to have successful manipulation.

The head puppeteer is typically the leader of the team and usually dictates the motion of the puppet. The first lesson given to any new head puppeteer is that they are now responsible, not just the puppet, but for the other two puppeteers. It’s an amazing lesson for leadership and team work. Power without responsibility and accountability is tyrannical and the puppet suffers. Power with responsibility and accountability is leadership and the puppet is supported (as well as the puppeteers). The lesson that leadership carries with it responsibility and reliability was instrumental in shaping my leadership style.

The other benefit to this style was realizing how important a team contribution was. I was also taught that even being a supporting member of the team proved crucial to bringing a puppet to life. Within one object (the puppet) the lessons of teamwork and leadership are so clearly laid out, it’s truly remarkable. I think it’s why I tend to gravitate towards this style in my own work and it’s exactly why I use this style in the workshops I teach (Shameless plug: Kick Ass Women and Puppetry).

Diane and Eric weren’t the only mentors who taught me valuable lessons about leadership, teamwork and responsibility but they were the first. Over the years as opportunities presented themselves, I relied on the lessons from these two to guide me. Yes, I’ve experienced failures and fuck-ups, but because of my training I’ve used those experiences as learning experiences and become stronger and better. I’ve also had a number of successful experiences as a leader, and I credit that to my training as well. The larger lesson about leadership really comes down to possessing an ability to be taught, because leading will teach you more about yourself, than you ever wanted to know. What’s amazing about effective responsible leadership is that you earn the ability to empower others.

I stated in my previous post that the time has come for all of us to step into a role of leadership, and I believe this with all my heart. But when leading seems like an impossible role to envision, find a mentor. Train, learn and study from leaders who you admire. I bet any leader, who is really effective in their role, will be willing to give you a little time or advice. Seek these leaders out. Be brave and offer to assist them or train under them, if you have the time or opportunity, the lessons you may learn can change the course of your life.

Next week I’ll be focusing on another aspect of leadership, that ties into this post but I cannot stress the importance of having a mentor. I have worked under many bosses in my career. A few of them have been truly great leaders. Ladies, as you hear the call to lead, which many of us are hearing more and more these days, spend some time and think about the type of leader you want to be. A great way to start is by thinking about positive people who have led you in the past. I’ve been lucky to have had amazing teachers in my life. As I get older, I’m beginning to realize their lessons were meant to be shared, which is precisely what leading allows me to do. Enjoy the week, ladies. Be well till the next post.