Leadership Part 3: Leading vs. Bossing

Hello Ladies,

This week’s post is a continuation on the leadership series. Today's leadership post is specifically focused on leading vs. bossing, how these are two different things, and why that is important. I was lucky in the beginning of my career; I was surrounded by effective leaders who exemplified the positive aspects of leading. Like most privilege, I didn’t know what I had, until it was gone.

As I left graduate school and entered the “real world” the protections of apprenticeships and academia faded away and I entered the very real and very tough professional world. Suddenly, all those hand-held, teachable moments were gone. I was in the deep end, with the sharks. I learned very quickly that in the real world not all bosses are teachers, nor are they leaders. The lessons were no longer about how to be a successful team member, but rather, how to survive when there is no team just a bunch of “I’s”. It was like going from a Saturday morning kids show to the Thunder-dome.

One of my favorite stories on the subject of bossing vs. leading, came early on in my career. The economy was still in recovery. Opportunities were scarce, competition was high, and as a freelancer I felt I was easily disposable. My own fear and insecurity was magnified on projects where the crew cultivated a culture of competition and conflict. The economic pressures made it a difficult period for trusted collaboration and most colleagues were focused on self-preservation rather than more altruistic endeavors.

This unstable environment created mistrust and perpetuated a negative, paranoid landscape. Morale was very low, communication was unclear, and a fear of being replaced was high. All of these combined elements created a natural proclivity toward scapegoating, and sabotage. In short, this environment was not conducive to stable trust-building, supportive relationships or productive teamwork. And yet, in this environment, I was about to learn one of my biggest lessons.

Due to the chaotic atmosphere of the project, most of the team members had to fend for themselves. With clear leadership lacking, individuals became territorial over the work they had and very few members were willing to lend guidance or help to each other. I was caught up in trying to find my place on the project and still waiting for my invitation to be included. I was hesitant to make a mistake so I held back. I wanted to find a role that was supportive and low risk (and matched my skill level and pay rate), but that didn’t seem to be an option. The longer I held back the less useful I was finding myself, and it was becoming clear I would need to find a task on my own.

 Now, there was a job that was available. It was the task of organizing and tracking all components of the project. The level of responsibility that this task required was best suited for someone in a leadership role, but none of the people vying for the leader wanted the responsibility. There were a number of crew members who were interested in gaining the perks of a more senior position. A rate increase, the privilege of going onto set, the reward of traveling and getting to tell the crew what to do… all of those rewards were given to more senior members of the team. What was interesting was many of the team members wanted the privileges without accepting the responsibility of leading. In fact, the job of managing the part count and keeping track of the progress was being avoided like the plague; that is, until it was thrown over to me.

Despite my lack of experience, a team member (who I suspect was expecting me to fail) handed me a clipboard. “Here you go. You wanted a job, keep track of all the parts.” She said with a sadistic smile. I took the clipboard grudgingly; this felt like way too much responsibility for someone who was a low level fabricator. I very quickly realized I was being shafted into a responsibility that others in leadership roles, were trying to dodge. So, I had clear choice: I could dodge the same responsibility and run the risk of being pushed off the project OR I could step up to the challenge. I chose to grab the clipboard, and risk failure.

I spent the next several weeks hustling around the shop, keeping track of part counts, monitoring the progress on the project, and creating a system that allowed for a productive workflow. The entire time I was scared out of my mind that if I fucked this up, I would never be back at this studio again. But here’s the thing… I didn’t fuck it up. I did my job and the project was easier to navigate because of my system and the fact I was accountable for the project’s status. As the project began to wrap, I wish I could say my contribution was acknowledged and my status was elevated within the team, but that was not the case. Truth be told, the leader of team diminished my contribution and I was pushed out of the following project, (which didn’t require the same level of intense organization). At the time, it felt like I had failed. It felt like I was being punished for doing a job I didn’t even want… and in a way I was. But what I wouldn’t realize for sometime was that that project gave me a valuable skill that would elevate my career years later.

Despite the set back, I continued to work on other projects and as luck would have it, I got to be a part of some pretty incredible teams. One of these projects involved a leader who would become a major influence over the way I saw leading. Bruce Mitchell is a fine artist and expert fabricator. Bruce is one part Eagle Scout, one part black-op, and one part goofy dad. I have seen Bruce lead under incredible pressure and witnessed just how much he cares about the crew he’s working with. As I moved forward in my career I would often look back on choices Bruce made and incorporate them into my own leadership style.

The biggest takeaways from Bruce’s style were:

1)    Use kindness and humor to motivate

2)    Have clear communication with your team

3)    Have patience

4)    Do not throw the team under the bus when mistakes happen

5)    Prevent shit from rolling down hill and burying the team

6)    Be prepared to do the heavy lifting as the leader. In other words, if your team is in the trenches you need to be in there with them.

           

            One of my favorite Bruce stories was during a project that had a tight deadline, hours were long and expectations were very high. Production kept making new demands and we were constantly forced to make last minute changes to accommodate the ever-changing requests. Our days became longer and longer and the five day workweek quickly became 6 then 7 days. Stress and exhaustion quickly began to set in among the team, which started to impact morale. A sense of futility and frustration was creeping in, as our efforts to please production seemed to continually miss the moving target.

            At the end of each day, Bruce would say to all of us how much he appreciated our efforts and how we were all doing a good job. But after a while even Bruce’s support felt like a dad telling you, you did a great job or you’re the best… It’s nice to hear, but of course dad’s going to say that… he’s the dad. One of the evenings we were working late, Bruce took a call from the owner of company. He came back to us after the call and say, “Ok, I just got off the phone with “A” (the owner), production has a new list of changes…” and audible heavy sigh was heard from the team.

            Bruce continued with the list of changes, which amounted to a considerable amount of additional work. Once he finished the list he added, “Also, A wanted me to tell you all that you’re doing a great job and he really appreciates all your hard work.” Suddenly, the air felt a little lighter… Really?!?! The owner was acknowledging our efforts? It helped to lift our spirits… and Bruce took notice. For the remainder of the project when morale was dipping Bruce would “take a phone call from A” and come back and tell us A was telling us we were doing a great job.

            Bruce was able to use this trick for a while, (I actually think we didn’t clue in until a few projects later that A wasn’t calling). When we finally did clue in we all laughed and realized Bruce was doing what he could to keep morale high. It was the best method to tell us “good job” in a way that the team would hear it. For Bruce, it was more important that we receive the message, not that he get credit for the positive reinforcement. It was a big lesson that good leaders will put the team first and their ego second.

            The story of A calling to tell us “good job” soon took on a life of its own.  Whenever we would see a colleague struggle we'd walk by and say, "hey, "A" just called... he wanted me to tell you, good job." It became a way for the crew to say, “I see you. It's going to be OK. Good job” in a lighthearted humorous way that was still heartfelt. Thanks to Bruce I learned a valuable lesson about the power of positive re-enforcement, but it was more than that. What I wouldn’t realize for a few years was what Bruce wasn’t showing us… what he was actually protecting us from so we could just focus on the work. This is when true leadership is exemplified.

            When the stress increased, Bruce was always present, making sure each team member had the tools they needed to do their job. Also, despite the stress, Bruce stayed calm and avoided any drama that detracted from our progress. He was in the trenches with us, not absently looking down on us. As a member of the team, it felt like we all had a stake in the project and we were all in it together… which is what a leader should be doing.

            Effective leadership is about empowerment. It’s about giving support rather than taking credit. The reward for effective leading is having a successful team, that’s where the glory is. It’s not in the accolades, titles or perks. The privilege of leading is accepting the responsibility it comes with, even when that means your support goes unseen or uncredited. I’ve been lucky to have worked under a number of great leaders who I’ve watched go out on a limb for me, or taken a bullet that was heading in my direction. It’s a humbling experience to work with someone who cares just as much about your well being as the success of a project.

            Being a Boss vs. a Leader really comes down to two different styles and the impact they have on a team. A boss tends to make the demand without being held accountable to the team. They can take the credit but rarely dispense it. The morale under the boss tends to be low and the atmosphere tends to not be one of collaboration of appreciation. Under a boss a team can feel more like a bunch of “Me’s” instead of a team of “We”.

            Leaders are never perfect, we make mistakes and have missteps. If we’re paying attention, our flaws become learning curves and we learn from any failures. The hope is to get better on each project and improve with each opportunity. For the strongest leaders, we mark our success by the success of our team, we rise by lifting those we work with. We have learned that we cannot lead a team when we are only focused on our own gains. When I'm called on to lead, I channel the leaders I’ve been lucky to work with. I ask myself, what would they do in this moment? I try not to be temped by the trappings of power and prestige, which become easier to do when I focus on the strength of the team.

            But mostly I see leading as a responsibility. I know there will be times I may need to deliver difficult news or take a hit to spare my team. But the payoff is seeing a group of people band together around a common goal and support each other. I also know that leading allows me to cheer on my teammates and champion their success, which is something I love doing. Leading requires you be both the cheerleader and the bad cop at times. You need to enforce but you also need to empower. It's a delicate balance of opposing themes. It can be exhausting but it can also be thrilling and it's something everyone should get to experience, even if it's just to realize how hard it is. You'll walk away with an entirely new respect for all you past supervisors.

            One of my favorite quotes about leading is as follows (and I wish I knew who said it but sadly I don't): “A boss focuses on getting themselves across the finish line, a leader focuses on getting the entire team across.”  

            I urge you to carry this thought with you on your next project and ask yourself, "Am I a leader today or just a boss?" I hope you all choose to be leaders, the world can use more of them.